Almost Omega
Almost to safety. Almost to healing. Almost to a much more intact me.
But not quite. Because I didn’t know. My Papaw John Douglas hadn’t taught me about the darkness yet.
I had six weeks until “death do us part”. Almost. I guess you didn’t know either.
You cannot kill me in a way that matters.
A for effort, I suppose? You can pretend it’s A for Alpha. The not-Alpha who couldn’t make it all the way to Omega, but you tried. Tonight I laughed, because I stumbled across a post on Reddit about men who call themselves an “Alpha Male”. And I remember how much it mattered to you that there only be one alpha, and I would be baffled. At some point I had to Google “what is an alpha?” and “what is a simp?” because you weren’t having a conversation with me. You were building your case, and your delusion, and attempting to fortify your fragile ego. I was just trying to build a life. I didn’t know you would eventually try to take mine.
You tried. But you didn’t know.
You don’t get to choose where I begin or where I end. I don’t even get to choose that. We will never know the extent to which we exist or impact others.
But we can choose the manner in which we exist and the manner in which we attempt to impact others. And our choices matter SO much. We both know what you chose.
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If you or someone you know is in a situation that is unsafe, or you need clarity on whether it is or will become unsafe, please seek help at The National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Confusion is a red flag you should not ignore.
I didn’t know.